Puttin' on the Ritz!
by Kabuki Salamander
Summary: A 'vid!fic' to the classic song 'Puttin' On the Ritz' by Irving Berlin. A little glammy piece featuring a 1940's Starlet Kuja.


Puttin' On the Ritz!  
  
By: Kabuki Salamander  
  
Archive: Starlet - http://www.satinflame.net/starlet  
  
Category: Shonen ai, Vidfic, Fluff, Glam, AU  
  
Pairing: Zidane + Kuja  
  
Raing: PG-13  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters Kuja and Zidane from the Squaresoft game Final Fantasy 9. This is just fanfiction, and I don't make any profit from this. It's just for entertainment. ^_^  
  
Note: Hehehe, I just love this song. It was written by Irving Berlin in 1929, and later performed by Fred Astaire in 1940. Most people don't know this song by name, or by lyrics, but everyone knows the tune of this great classic. It's been used in many film productions, and has been remade by many artists.  
  
---  
  
  
  
The scene is an old-style theater. The stage is shining, as the wood has been freshly polished to a high gloss. The seats are quickly filling up in the vast dim-lighted room. Men and women push against each other to get the best seat in the house, talking to each other excitedly.  
  
As the people gradually fill in, the lights drop, and the voices hush.  
  
A lone stranger, by the name of Zidane Tribal walks into the theater hall unnoticed by everyone whose attention is focused onto the stage. Zidane, dressed in a tuxedo with his tie undone, hanging lose around his neck, and his jacket slung over his shoulder, stands against the back wall, waiting.  
  
Slowly, the red velour curtains begin to part, revealing a man in a sequined black and white body suit designed to look like a tux who is standing on top of a high dais. A fluffy rabbit's tail is attached to his well-rounded bottom, poking out between the coattails of a long jacket. His hand is placed on the brim of his top-hat, and the other is resting on the top of a black cane. The gorgeous white-haired minx stands stationary like a statue. The crowd is completely quiet in awe of his raw sex-appeal and beauty.  
  
As the music begins, Kuja- the star of our show- comes to life.  
  
He raises his head, and flashes a dazzling smile at the crowd, tipping his hat upwards.  
  
He grasps his cane in both his hands, and begins to slowly walk down the flight of steps in front of him; one foot in front of the other. His bare milky thighs enticing the audience as they seem to slide him down, rather than carry him.  
  
  
  
- Have you seen the well-to-do -  
  
- Up and down Park Avenue? -  
  
- On that famous thoroughfare -  
  
- With their noses in the air -  
  
- High hats and narrow collars -  
  
- White spats and lots of dollars -  
  
- Spending every dime -  
  
- For a wonderful time! -  
  
  
  
Scantily clad boys come from both stage right and stage left to assist him in song. All of them are shirtless, tawny-skinned and muscular in contrast to Kuja's wedding dress white complexion, and waif-ish build. They surround both sides of the stage as one rushes up to Kuja and bows on one knee to give him a perfect red rose. He accepts the gesture with a shyly flirtatious smile and the boy runs into his position with a scarlet blush high on his cheeks.  
  
  
  
- Now, if you're blue -  
  
- And you don't know where to go to -  
  
- Why don't you go where fashion sits? -  
  
- Puttin' on the Ritz! -  
  
When reaching the bottom of the stairs, Kuja leans on his cane with both hands, and swings his hips as he continues the song.  
  
- Different types who wear a daycoat -  
  
- Pants with stripes and cutaway coat -  
  
- Perfect fits -  
  
- Puttin' on the Ritz! -  
  
He tosses his cane into the high up air, twirls around, and catches it in his left hand and goes on to the next verse.  
  
- Dressed up like a million dollar trooper. -  
  
- Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper. -  
  
- Super-duper! -  
  
He spots Zidane in the crowd, and shifts his gaze to him briefly. Zidane blows him a kiss, and he is rewarded in return with a gratifying smile.  
  
- Come, let's mix where Rockefellers -  
  
- Walk with sticks or "umberellas" -  
  
- In their mitts -  
  
- Puttin' on the Ritz! -  
  
The song breaks into an instrumental, and the boys in the chorus-line rush forward to take turns dancing with Kuja. The first one takes his hand, and pulls him close, dips him, and then sends him off twirling into the arms of the next dancer. The second boy lifts Kuja above his head and tosses him in the air, and catches with the quick motion one muscular arm, and lowers him back to the ground.  
  
- Tips his hat just like an English chappie -  
  
- To a lady with a wealthy pappy -  
  
- Very snappy! -  
  
All twenty of the dancing boys line up behind Kuja. They join arms and sidestep their way across the stage, and do a small kick when changing their course. Kuja tosses his rose to the crowd. A young girl wearing an oversized diamond necklace catches it and swoons. He looks to the wall where Zidane was standing, but he is no longer there.  
  
- You'll declare it's simply topping -  
  
- To be there and hear them swapping -  
  
- Smart tidbits -  
  
- Puttin' on the Ritz!! -  
  
The song ends. The audience stands, claps, cheers, and whistles. Roses of every colour are thrown from the large crowd and begin to pile up, but the star has mysteriously vanished from the stage.  
  
The scene shifts to a dressing room door with a large gold star, and Kuja's name on it. The door opens to reveal Zidane and Kuja in a tight, affectionate hug.  
  
'You were wonderful," Zidane whispers in Kuja's ear.  
  
Kuja removes his top hat, and playfully shoves it on Zidane's head.  
  
- Puttin' On the Ritz! -  
  
They come together into a deep kiss, and the screen fades to black.  
  
- Puttin' On the Ritz! -  
  
  
  
The End. 


End file.
